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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Eggfro

Greetings, Hello, Hi..

There's still 10 books left in the Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking, 1972. Today I will delve into Volume 8, Egg-Fro. I cannot be the only one who rolls their eyes at the way these books are arranged. It would have been too easy to just make a book A-C, D-F, etc. Now I am just making up words as I go along.

Like the other books in this series, it's broken down into four sections:

Eggs, Cheese, and Dairy Foods That Please (LAME): Tips on Buying and Storing, a Quick Table of Cheese, a Potpourri of Recipes. In other words, nothing attention grabbing. 

The Electric Cook: How to Make the Most of Small Electric Appliances.  Allow me to point out the fact that the electronic appliances in 1972 where not very small compared to what we used today. 

Foods From Afar: Exotic Recipes from Around the World. In other words, Americanize foreign foods for Americans who have never been overseas and if they ever do, they will expect it to taste like it came out of a Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking cookbook set. 

Frozen Assets: Tips on Buying and Storing Frozen Foods, How to Cook for the Freezer, How to Freeze Foods. There are entire cookbooks devoted to this and Family Circle was kind enough to condense it into one little section of a 16 volume set. Thank you, Family Circle.

If the captions are in quotes they are from the book. I feel like I need to include that disclaimer so nobody gets confused and think I would come up with some of those off the wall comments.

Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking, 1972, Volume 8, Egg-Fro. Eggfro can be a word. Why? Because I just decided that.
I'm struggling but I am just not transporting myself to distant lands based on the contents of this book.
Right because if I buy a TV dinner with the contents already cooked and in its own little tray, I surely am going to take the time to redo it. What's the point in that?
If you are not a smart homemaker, go away. This does not apply to you because you skimp on eggs. You are dumb. How quaint the last paragraph makes the mass production of eggs. The reality is probably not the same as the fantasy.
Cluck Cluck
I've never combined milk and other ingredients like that so I don't know for sure if they are poisonous. They sound like it on principle alone. Looks like the standards on milk requirements have been adjusted somewhat. A quart, really? I don't think I drink a quart a milk a week.
Perfectly poached eggs. I have to hate on this only because I lack the ability to perfectly poach an egg. I don't even think I know how to poach one come to think of it. 
"South of the border variation of America's favorite, ham and eggs with fluffy scrambled eggs spooned on top of a tomato-rich sauce studded with ham chunks." Exactly how far south of the border must one venture to be given the opportunity to try this?
"Ever try baking a soufflé on top of a sandwich? It works splendedly with zippy Souffléd Pastrami Rounds.." Nope. I can't say I have. I can't say I want to. Go away.
  
Why does all of the "quaint and dainty" lady food look like it's been jizzed upon? I'm starting to put two and two together.

It's tha time of year again! Time to have more hardboiled eggs on hand than should ever be consumed! When all is said and done, make all of the leftovers that have been sitting at room temperature all day, into something with mayonnaise like this Deviled Eggs Supreme in Curry Sauce.
"A new sort of basket of eggs, this one is a hollowed-out round bread loaf filled with an egg-tomato-salad." Actually it doesn't look like a basket. It looks like a hollowed out round bread loaf filled with an egg-tomato-salad. Just saying.
Sun-Gold Egg Mold. It looks to me like an unlanced boil.
When I don't know if I want pizza or if I want an omelet, I just mix it all together and come up with Pizza Omelet. Who doesn't?
Golden Cheese Soufflé. Looks more blackened than golden. And in an effort to hide this obvious faux pas, there are white carnations in the back. Carnations remind me of funerals. I instantly hate this.
High Hat Swiss Soufflé and Ham and Cheese Roulade. Do you know what I want to do when I see a soufflé in these books? I want to stick all of them with a fork and watch them collapse. I don't know why. It's like going to a store, seeing a huge display of these and fighting the urge to crush every single one of them: 

I just want to squeeze them and feel them break. Don't judge. It's like bubble wrap to me.
Checkerboard Cheese Layers. Layers. Lots of layers. Not seeing a checkerboard pattern though. I did think those breadsticks were rolling pins. Maybe they want to work on making this look real? I didn't say edible. Just real.

"Baked Crab-Tuna Fondue looks like a fondue--" I'm going to stop right there because it looks like a soufflé.
More Easter Eggs. There is a way of decorating them other than sticking them in a cup of dye with vinegar? Hmm..I learn something new every day.
Gadgetry. All of these are intimidating me. I do love how the and mixer has its own case. An ice crusher? I bet these people used rotary phones too. Probably in these colors. I'm kidding! I remember my mother had some of these too.
That looks like the cause of burns of various degrees and a future of skin grafts just from touching it for a half a second.
"You don't have to do Russian tea in this electric pot." Which is why the three little Russian dolls have their backs turned. They know they are no longer needed.
Those are some pretty brown waffles.
What role the sewing machine plays in this, I don't know. Not even the captioner knows apparently. "The sewing machine won't help, but it doesn't matter with this super-easy way to prepare delicate, light wafffles that will make your family beg for 'more, more, more.'"
Stuffed Frankfurter Wrap Arounds. Exactly what they are wrapped around, I do not know. This is confusing me. I'll just look at those molds.
The ladies of the world with their traditional country themed foods and country costumes.They look like waitresses in a cheesy themed restaurant. I apologize for the scan.
"From France, a delicate pâté molded in tiny cups." Looks like a lot of wasted work.
This might claim to be from China, but the garnish gives the origin away.
English Stuffed Ham to keep "Anglo-American relations warm." As if this is going to bridge the gap.
Raw meat next to vegetables. Always a good idea.
Dilled Shrimp in Aspic. It all looks like it is in a state of suspended animation. Forever.
Rainbow Cake. The first time it actually is a cake and not something else.
I'll just be nostalgic and keep mine in the tray thank you.
This is intended for someone who has to stay busy all the time. Idle hands and all.
Well, I have a sick child to pick up from school so I expect the rest of my day to be fun!

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