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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What does this even mean? (Recipe Cards # 13)

Alright, I know what I said in my last recipe card post. I was full of assurance that Marguerite Patten would not grace my blog ever again. I really, truly believed I was done with her and her weird Canadian concoctions. No offense, Canada. Even you all have to admit this was some weird shit. Anyway, while I was filing the cards back where they belonged, I saw too many good opportunities to let slip. 

Really though, looking at the names of these recipes, it does beg the question of what do these recipes mean? The names of some of them just make no sense! 

I'm hoping the Blogger image uploader isn't hinky this time. I have many cards for this post. I am attempting to appease everybody because this could be my last post until Sunday. I'm going to see my sisters in Indiana.

If this is interesting but too long, I'm not sorry. I'm not apologizing in advance. I do think this is the last time we see Marguerite in my blog. She might turn up in somebody else's though!! 

We's gonna eat some good ole Fish Americaine. I did the ole google and it seems like a catch all recipe for fish. Because that is how we Americaines eat it, dontcha know?

More delusional food inspired by California. If you are looking for actual olives in this recipe, I have to be the first to say that you are in fora disappointment. What does it mean, Marguerite? It means there needs to be more prunes and less pretend olives.



This is probably the best example of why retro casseroles are not in glass dishes.

A Non-Googler would not know what this is. I didn't. But having learned this has a smidge of rosehip oil in it, I see where the name originates. What the hell is rosehip anyway? I guess I need to get back to the Googles.


Or shirred eggs if you prefer. Cluck cluck to the raw eggs.
Prawns made for some interesting food models. This could have a double meaning. It could be eggs of the prawn itself or what looks like deviled eggs. The beady eyes of the prawns stare deep into my soul. Deep.


Macaroni and cheese is just that. Unless the word "deluxe" is two words. Then it's special.

Blanquette is a cooking technique. I could get into it, but damn that's a lot of prunes. Are Canadians constipated? Lacking in fiber? I kind of want to hold my iPad up to the grid in the background and scan it to see if I win a special prize.

My scanner hated this hue of white. So much I am surprised it didn't catch on fire. There was no way of toning it down. Even with the toning and the attempts at lowering the shade of white that makes a blizzard look gray, this still looks like glue poured over sole. If you look close enough you can almost see the grapes.

Canadian Paella with the sacrificial prawns.Even they are looking down in horror at it.
The most accurate description of these recipe cards by far.
Again, what does this even mean? Pig's liver? Noooo thank you.If this card made sense, then I could make sense too.
No matter the language, color, culture, or creed, there's no way to make stroganoff look like nothing less than dog vomit. The rice vice the noodles gives it an almost maggoty appearance.

That's a lot of porkish products. I'm almost ashamed to look at it. When I make pork chops, I usually wonder what's lacking. Now I know I was not using hot dogs. I will learn from my mistake. 

And this seems delicious, why? Oh that's right. It doesn't.

AHHHHH it's so bright!! My pupils are constricting! That's a weird egg salad. It's not the chunkage mayonnaise mess of the US type that I will never, ever, ever eat. Not saying this is something I would eat either. 

I have a new eating rule. If the antennae is longer than the orange segments, it's not going anywhere near my mouth.I don't want to gag on a prawn antennae. That seems a bit uncouth. I'm trying to be a lady.

A glamorous way to serve the weiners. Lemony!AHHH the yellow is giving me brain zaps!
Prunes belong on sandwiches! Deal with it! Even better served on a grill rack.I need that grill rack.

I've not kept my utter dislike for stuffed peppers secret. They are weird and they stink up the house. I never thought I would see them used as a medium for a frankfurter filling. I have lived. Maybe not as strong as if I had prepared this and watched my family devour it. 

Sigh..Who doesn't want to eat apples stuffed with that shit?
I rest my case about stuffed peppers. This looks as maggoty as a three day old dead dog. Blech. Sometimes I gross out myself.

Really this dessert should not surprise anybody. Prunes, prunes, prunes.

I'm going to ask again: What does this even mean?

I just haven't showed a meatloaf in a few days. This one looks like a keeper. All it needs are some prunes to make it come full circle. It's too badass to show up right on the scanner.

Balls. Prawns are everywhere! Look at that mold at 11 o'clock! It's impressive in ways that should not impress me! I just want to count the eyes. Little beady prawny eyes, eight in a row.

More "payte" It's such a loaf and so sliced. I don't have to make sense in this post!

More payte. Look at that yellow. Isn't it surprising that I still have all of my limbs after trying to scan these? If ever there is a major power surge in San Antonio, it could very well be because I am trying to scan 1967 yellow on a 2011 HP all-in-one printer.

This is what I need. Lardy cake to make me feel like even more of a lardy ass.

I hope this made you full of happiness. My glee cannot be measured by a happiness tree cake.

Here is the most normal recipe card I have seen. Oranges and cherries. There's not even suspicious prunes or hidden mayonnaise. My guard is up though. Normalcy can be snatched in a heartbeat.

Yes, this was very long indeed! I had to finish these cards and give you all something to tide you over until I return. Now, I am going to flood my Pinterest board.



7 comments:

  1. Oh wow, prawns in the seat of judgement! (And what is it with all the prunes and white sauce. Vile).

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    1. I promised prawns! There were a gaggle o' prawns. I wasn't expecting the prunes to be in everything. The things I discover!!!

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  2. this was the best thing to wake up to this morning. Just when I got to "fish balls" and thought it couldn't get better, lardy cake popped up...

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    1. Thank you! I had to save the lardy cake for last. I kind of have an order of how they are presented. Who wants to eat something called "lardy cake?"

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  3. De LUX. So keeping that in my future vocabulary.

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    1. I went through an "elegante" phase. Everything I made was "elegant-ay".

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    ReplyDelete