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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Watch the weight (Recipe Cards #8)

Greetings everybody! I hope you are having a good weekend. I waited eagerly for my next gazillion recipe cards and when they arrived, I was not disappointed! I seriously could have added the entire collection tonight but that would take hours to scan them and nobody wants to be stuck in a vintage recipe card hell. These things need to be done slowly and gradually.

The cards used today come from the 1974 Weight Watchers Recipe Card Collection. I could lose 10 pounds from looking at the cards. In fact, that's what I am going to have to do. Forget exercise and diet, I'm just going to read these nightly. I'll be slim and trim before I realize! 

Card Index. You know what else came out of 1974? Me
I think my jeans fit a little less tight after looking at this Molded Cheese Soufflé. I think this is the first soufflé that comes from a gelatin mold. New trend instead of baking it and having it collapse?  Good luck with that. I would think it's a type of cheese gelatin mold before I floated the idea around that it might be a  soufflé


We all know that chicken is versatile. To allow it to be coated with aspic shows just how versatile this chicken is. Maybe everything is coated in aspic to make it more difficult to get to when one wants to eat? That would definitely be a deterrent.

I do not know how this is refreshing. What amounts to a tomato aspic is being cubed and served as a drink. Okay, I wasn't there. I was a fetus. I am chagrined that I could very well have missed out on THE gelatin drink of the 1970s. I'm just a young whippersnapper shootin' my mouth off.
Bean and Mushroom Salad. What better way to kick someone while he or she is down than to serve this green bean and mushroom gelatin mold? We are an overweight society. I get that. THIS isn't going to help us change our eating habits!

 Has anyone ever had the desire to slice up a loaf of frozen cheese and serve it like that? I can barely handle frozen Cool Whip. I highly doubt I would be able to handle frozen cottage cheese, bleu cheese, and buttermilk with a million herbs and spices shaped into a loaf and frozen.
Fruit and cheese mold. At first glance, this looks like a typical mold. Then you look at the cottage cheese layer. But if it's going to keep me thin, then I'm going to tear into that. Slurpy slurp. Eh, maybe I will just cut Coke from my diet. If I limit the intake, I can still enjoy other foods and not have to resort to this.
Madriléne Cheese Salad. I had to look up what a madriléne is and found it to be like a tomato aspic. Not that it makes the idea of eating this sound any better. There's no sophistication in tomato aspic and cottage cheese molded. 
Asparagus. Why not. Anything and everything else has been added to these types of salad. Asparagus was feeling a little left out. Who cares if someone's bodily fluids have an off smell and taste about them after eating this. It's all about watching weight. It's punishment for those extra cookies we all shoved into our fat faces. Day of Reckoning! And we shall be served Molded Asparagus Salad as penance.
By definition this is a melon mousse. Made with cantaloupe, artifical sweetener, and a a few other ingredients,it is then molded to perfection. By a visual, it looks like a ball of phlegm I coughed up when I woke up this morning. Maybe I need to increase my fluid intake. Mucinex. Not only do you smell like it for the next week, but hack up melon mousse looking stuff.
This is spectacular! It's gross looking and befuddles imagination but to be able to wrap slices of hot dog around the core of a pineapple and try to fool people into thinking it's a pineapple? Genius.
Spinach and Egg Mold. Sure it's a shade of green that instantly renders a gelatin mold inedible. Is there an edible gelatin molded salad? This sure isn't one of them.Who actually sliced into this, smacked their lips in anticipation and lifted a fork to their face, put it in their mouths and allowed the refreshing creaminess to melt on their tongues and repeated the cycle. 
This should be a warning to all. Not only is the fish scary scary raw, but there's hidden aspic on it somewhere.
I would like to thank the two men who sacrificed their penises to make this dish possible. Apparently they are low cal and can be used in a weight watchers recipe.
 How easy can weight loss be after looking at these cards? I sure don't have an appetite.

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