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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Nibbles and Tidbits

It's late at night/early morning and I'm still trying to shake this horrible crud which now has the diagnosis of "Post Virus Cough". Thank you USAF doctor for telling me something that I didn't already know. The stupidest thing a doctor can ask me when walking into the exam room is "What am I doing for you tonight?" Really? I don't have an M.D. behind my last name nor do I have access to a prescription pad or diagnostic testing equipment. But what do I know?

Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. I need to update before this fades into Blogosphere Obscurity. I've worked my butt off and I'm not going to let some "Post Virus Cough" ruin that for me.

Tonight will be Snacks and Refreshments. I don't entertain and if I do, I'm most likely to have chips and salsa than hard boiled eggs and gelatin molds. Because I am such a gracious guest at the few parties I might attend, I wouldn't touch anything but chips and salsa. If I'm in a snacking mood and have taken an Ambien, I'd probably tear into some of the grub I am about to mention. I've eaten some weird things on that medicine. I only remember it when I wake up the next morning and my gluttony flashes back to me like a bad one night stand. Until now, I have never thought to make a recipe from an old cookbook while on Ambien. That would make for an interesting few days of posting. Has that been done yet? "Retro Food Made While Under the Influence of Ambien." I wouldn't dare. I will ignore the cogs that are spinning in my mind. 

Better Homes and Gardens Snacks and Refreshments, 1963. Nibbles and tidbits ring true in this picture. There will be a fight to the death for that miniscule amount of shrimp and those unnaturally green drinks. But they match the napkins and it's really all about getting the colors right. Besides, nobody wants to spoil their appetites! Gotta save room for the main course.
Braunschweiger Glace. That ought to get my appetite back again. I think of braunschweiger as that nasty stuff in the chub tube next to the hot dogs. It's very squeezable. Perhaps not as much mixed with mayonnaise and surrounded by a beef consomme gelatin mold. I'm almost mad at those crackers for whoring themselves out to the almighty braunschweiger. It's a small enough mold to drum up controvery.
This shish kebob griller holder appetizer tray table is perhaps awesome. It might not serve any other purpose except kebobs. Just be careful not to trip while blinded by the awesomeness of it all. I wonder how often something like this was used?
All fear the fluffy guacamole. Seriously. Fear it. I always thought guacamole should be chunky. Even the chickens aren't buying it. The one on the left looks mighty pissed off indeed.

The hostess of this event has some serious trust issues. What other reason would one have to have the cheese knife secured with a gold chain like it's a backwoods gas station bathroom? One would have to get past the eggs with their serpentine tongues before even attempting to run off with the knife.
I believe fried bread, mozzarella and salami with a robust cherry tomato is Italiano too. Tutto bene!
Too bad this is not in color.  I will make it my life's mission to have Tomato Soupshake on tap in my refrigerator at all time. I'm sure that will be a hit.
Enlarging food pictures is not always the best way to go. The middle pizza looks like it wants to attach itself to somebody's face and never let go. The entire picture looks like it needs to be blotted with several rolls of paper towels before it can even be considered edible. It looks like it would leave a taco grease colored oil in the toilet too.
Flapper Pudding. The caption touts it as "the cat's pajamas around 1928" and "so simple even a flapper could make it." Because flappers are too busy flapping and the cat's pajamas are the best thing since fire was discovered.
Frosted Ribbon Loaf. The refreshment of all refreshments. The snack of all snacks. The layered chopped ham and mayonnaise mix and egg salad loaf covered with a cream cheese and parsley frosting.

Those should whet the appetite. If not, I don't blame anybody.

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