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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Recipe Card Sunday

It's that time of the week again. In keeping with my tradition of doing recipe cards on Sundays, I searched and found some pathetically lazy recipe cards. Lazy in the sense that someone has the time to look for these recipes, follow them verbatim, and serve them to their family. Now, I am not the traditional Sunday dinner type of person. Looking through these cards, I now feel like putting a frozen pizza in the oven shows more effort and appreciation than what I am about to present.

Sure this entry will be lost in the usual Sunday night TV schedule. It's okay though. 

If anyone is counting, this is my fifth recipe card blog. For those who don't want to go click crazy, here's clicky links:

Who Can Forget The Recipe Cards?
Recipe Cards 2.0
Recipe Card Redux
More Molded Salad and Recipe Card Oddities
 

I am using my Betty Crocker's Step-by-Step Recipe card collection, 1975. I'm taking the short but sweet approach because there's really no set theme to recipe cards. They just are recipe cards.


Those who have been reading my blog from the beginning understand the "catsup (not ketchup)". I put it because that was how it was spelled. I can't be too modern by spelling it "ketchup". I guess if the catsup (not ketchup) is darkened it would look more like chili sauce? Do you really want to dip your Ore Ida french fries in something that has been flavored by being cooked and sieved through a cheesecloth?

Hot dog salad and peanut logs!! Any takers? The peanut logs on the right look like they are covered with ants. Not at all appetizing. Maybe they are covered with ants. The hot dog salad? Zucchini and hot dogs might work. I don't think so. I see this as shit thrown together and plastered on a recipe card.
Cornucopias and Yam Ice Cream. What? Did I read that right? Rolled ham stuffed with things I won't eat sounds about right. Yam ice cream. I fear that might make a comeback.

I'm noticing the top is in the Cooking For Show category. That's what it has to be. There cannot be a soul left alive on this planet who would eat wilted lettuce and salami. Maybe I put too much faith in mankind.
Parsley Jelly. Ooookay.. First off, making parsley into a spreadable condiment is an abomination to start. When the cooking and gelling process is complete, and green food coloring is required to make it look green, that is a tragedy.

Avocado Chili. There should be a category for "Not Even Trying" in these recipe cards. Canned chili with sliced avocados. That's it. I don't even think it's worth the cardstock in which it is printed.
Pizzaghetti. I do want to try to sell this onto my toughest critics or my children. Would they believe that this is truly pizza served over spaghetti? Would they look at the corn and olives and tell me exactly where I can go and walk from the table? I'd probably let them walk from the table. I'd give them ice cream. Yam Ice Cream for not appreciating my culinary experimentation.
In keeping with the sick and twisted photography of the mid century, this tuna spaghetti does not fall short. Could it be pizzaghetti? It kind of looks like it but the fish above it gives me the false impression that this is something entirely different. There's no corn either.

Wow, I would be flattered to be invited to a party where this is served. I might not eat it and I probably won't like the way my clothes or hair smells after the fact. I'd probably complain to my husband about dragging me to a party like this too. It's probably the type of party where there aren't any kids except my own.


Really? This is the best you can do Betty?


Liver Fritada. Yes, it looks like just about every other card I have used tonight. I know. Just bear with me. It explains the bad and ugly of retro food part of this blog.

Spaghetti Chop Chop. Yes. Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! What does this even mean? Chop! Chop! Chop! Raw peppers. Chop! Chop! Chop!
Cabbage-Cheddar Chowder. Sure to be a family favorite. It sounds like it would stink and it looks like it would cause gas and explosive diarrhea.

Hot Dog Macaroni. Underneath the seven tomato slices, slightly browned cheese lies a scary thought of macaroni, hot dogs, Cheddar AND Cottage Cheese. When the holes of macaroni are staring up at me, I imagine some sort of larvae getting ready to hatch within the tubes.

Cheesy Chicken Over Rice. My interpretation differs slightly from the title. I see the results of stumbling upon a decomposing squirrel and the one who discovered it vomiting all over the maggots and rabbit turds. One day I will find rice that doesn't look like maggots. Until then, rice looks like maggots.
Natty Napkins. To look at but never unfold or dab the corners of the mouth. The ones on the left look like Willy Wonka wallpaper and the ones on the right look like prefluffed kleenex carnations that we spent agonizing hours fluffing for our little league float. A schnozzberry tastes like a schnozzberry.
For those who are full of fecal matter, I present Prune Whip Pie. A wonderful opportunity to purge one's bowels of the above mentioned digestive blunders.

I hate this bunny rabbit. Instead of invoking hope and joy and things pink, I feel compelled to step on it and smash it to crumbs. It's looking at me the wrong way.

This laughable attempt at a turkey comes off as tuhds with candy corn attached to it. Somebody grab the plunger. This one is going to cause some plumbing damage.


Short, sweet, simple, funny. As long as I have a gazillion recipe cards and a Sunday, I will be here.

U.N.T.

2 comments:

  1. hot dogs in a salad? WHAT???? Whipped prune pie? I would love to hear from anyone that has actually eaten these things.

    I kinda like the rabbit though :)

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    Replies
    1. They are afraid to come forward. I wouldn't ridicule them! I would badger them with questions and view them like a relic.

      It was a toss up between that green pepper pizza face or the rabbit. Something about those rodents almond teeth hit a nerve,

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