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Sunday, September 9, 2012

More Molded Salad and Recipe Card Oddities

Good Sunday Eve! I hope everybody had a good weekend. If you read my previous post, you know what I did all day yesterday. Today, I am going to keep it simple. My most popular posts include recipe cards or molded salads. Today's post will appease both interests.

My newest recipe card collection is a Betty Crocker's Step-By-Step recipes from 1975. Not only do we get a picture, but a few step by step pictures. I decided to omit most of the step by-step processes. After all, who wants to see pictures of the actual birth? Just show the pictures of the baby. Nobody wants to see the rest of it!



Betty Crocker's Step-By-Step Recipes, 1975. It's the same 1970's yellow but I did not get a lid. I need a lid.
I wonder if Dennis R. Thompson came home late when he knew this was being served? I found this in the recipe box and of course I needed to share it. Maybe I have reached the hearts and minds and people are eager to replicate a recipe written on stationery from the desk of Dennis R. Thompson. This could be the next big thing! Damn, that's a lot of salt.
Lasagne or Lasagna? Catsup or Ketchup? What is the difference? Cottage cheese doesn't melt very well. When it is in lasgne or lasgna, it looks like tonsil stones in a mess of slop. If you ate this particular food tonight, I probably just made your stomach flip.
On the left is Taco Burgers with cream cheese strips on top. On the right are Beanburgers. Criss cross turd patties and barf burgers. Perhaps too easy, perhaps too cliche but the picture speaks for itself. Green beans, American cheese, and cheese soup? Why does Betty constantly try to force green bean, cheese slop, and hamburgers together? If it worked so well, we would still be eating it. Well, not "we" per se.My husband says this could almost be a prelude to Hamburger Helper. He might be on to something, that clever man.
Mozzarella Eggs. This looks like what is coughed up during the third or fourth day of an upper respiratory infection. It hasn't quite hit the green phlegm stage, but it's thick enough to choke. Hack! Hack! Cough!
I see these on the ground all the time here. We call them fire ant mounds. Wear shoes. Those bites hurt something fierce. Underneath the protective fire ant mound is a 1 lb bologna, vegetables, and a can of cheese soup and a can of tomato sauce. Okay this is really just a hot mess and nobody is going to be compelled to try it. 
This is 3 pictures of serious OCD on one little card. First there are halves with three or two olives per egg. It can't be more, and it can't be less. Then the cake pieces are alternated. Finally, everything is wrapped in plastic wrap. Does anyone else get the impression this person has everything else in plastic wrap? Couches, chairs, books? Everything in the refrigerator is well wrapped. She must have spent a lot of money on Saran Wrap. I wonder if years after her demise, there were Saran Wrapped stray cats in her basement, alternating colors of course. 
Meatloaf and Dilled Limas. Under the catsup (not ketchup) smear lies a glorious ring of two pounds ground beef, 1 cup of sour cream, onion soup mix, and more catsup (not ketchup). I do believe it took months to get the lingerint stench of this out of the house. Can you imagine being a kid or friend husband and going to work or school with this lingering in your hair or clothes? Opening bags and backpacks and having the smell of this slap you in the face?
Cheese-Fruit mold. And Betty was right on with the cheese. From afar it looks like a regular, 1970's gelatin mold. Pay more attention that in this mold of orange jello lies a turbulent sea of cheddar, cream, and cottage cheese. The fruit part is the crushed pineapple. For the sake of argument, this is in the meatless section. Boiled hooves, pig's ass hair, and bones perhaps do not count as meat because there is no flesh.
Creamy Dried Beef Mold. Be still my ever loving heart. Who wouldn't want a slice of rehydrated beef jerky, mayonnaise, mustard, lima beans, american cheese, celery, onion, in a gelatin mold.
Cucumber Souffle Salad. It takes a special someone to be able to artfully put lime gelatin, mayonnaise, vinegar, celery, and radishes together in a mold with three different shades of green. Special is not always good.
Cherry Olive Salad. I can't say I would eat this if I was starving to death. Cherries and olives? Why?
Guacamole Salad. I asked my husband what this looked like, and he said a booger. Until 2010, guacamole was on my never eat list. I imagined it would look at taste like this. Perhaps full of sour cream or mayonnaise. Perhaps no self respecting guacamole is not made of gelatin, celery, tomatoes, onions. This guacamole salad lacks respect. Even the olive circle does little to make this less sad.
Apple Cider Salad. With the right lighting it would work, right? The first picture shows cream cheese and mayonnaise being whipped. The second crumbled Bleu Cheese. I decided, out of respect for all, to omit that part. Otherwise, this could stand alone. I will even forgive the celery bits.
Daiquiri Salad. When it's made of melon balls and ginger ale, you are doing it wrong. Just saying.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend! There are will be a few interesting topics this week. I better post this before I do what I did yesterday.

U.N.T.

4 comments:

  1. Why oh why did anyone ever think molding food was a good idea?! My mind literally cannot process that level of insanity... The creamy dried beef mold is the worst offender. Whoever says food is all about the taste is wrong; if it looks like molded sick, it ain't going anywhere near my mouth no matter how good it may taste.

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    1. I want to say I'm at a loss for words, but these old molds make me speak a thousand! It was that creamy dried beef mold that field my inspiration. Thanks for reading and your comment.

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  2. Can you imagine how much sodium is in some of these dishes? canned soup, tomato sauce, BOLOGNA!

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    1. My heart goes into an arrhythmia just by reading the recipes,

      I had to repost the reply. It's early. Yawn.

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