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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Psychedelic Betty Crocker

Greetings all!! Before I get started, a few things have changed. I now have a domain so my blog can be found at www.badanduglyofretrofood.com  At this moment, it is still being updated in the system so the blogspot address will also work. If you are one of the few who like to use stumbleupon, it may take a few days as well to stumble my site. I do have to say what a surprise it is that my chosen name was not taken. Kidding. 

I'm at the latter end of my birthday. I hit the big 38. Yay me. What better way to start a new blog entry than associating it with some party theme?Also this is my 50th post already! Cause for celebration!!!! May there be 50 more! Thank you very much for reading. I can't stress that enough.

This booklet is seriously one of the weirdest Betty Crocker recipe books. I'm singing the "Oompa Loompa" song as I look at the weird lettering. It's almost like someone slipped Betty Crocker a little LSD. It makes no sense. The pictures are funny though. It's less than 20 pages but there was enough to make a blog.

Let's make this short and sweet and begin!! 

Betty Crocker's Baking's Believing, 1963. Yes there are a lot of apostrophes. That wizard has posed as Santa Claus in other Betty posts. Look at this insidious book. Magic, Witchcraft, Wizardry, Sorcery, and Enchantment.

Turn household items into MAGIC!! Abracadabra! God Medal Flour, Wondra Flower (?) Saran Wrap!!!!! The finger is pointing at us to continue. And really, there's nothing magic about this. Unless you are on some hallucinogen. Which I am not. But if you read this while tripping balls, I won't judge. Not at all.
Spells and Bells and Houdini Wienies. I'm waiting for a few Oompa Loompas to whisk me away and get into their groovy song. Looking at the recipe for Mystic Candy Dough, I can assume I might guess that Life Saver or whatever nickel candy might still exist today is crushed and inserted into the dough. Maybe because I cheated and looked at the recipe. I'm a buzzkill. A doubter.
There's that creepy wizard again. Oooh look, there's one that flies. There is one that flies, isn't there? I'm sure a handwritten on a fortune will accurately predict the future. Remember, you must be on something hallucinogenic to decipher this book.
Exactly how many wienies did Houdini have? Or are they just so motherfocking good that they disappear? I'll go with the multiple Houdini wienies. That makes more sense. Unless someone has LSD munchies or something. Yes, I am ignorant to drugs. I don't know if LSD actually gives munchies. Sounds good though.
This is how the page in this book looked. It's not a scan issue. That rabbit up there sure wants and needs some Baffle Bowl. Will the magician let him while he catches and plucks the head from those Yogi Puffs? ABRACADABRA!!!!
When you have a pissed off mouse, you better do something about it unless you want to find mouse shit behind everything. You do know they pee surfaces to create a scent trail. Maybe you can sit down and chat with the little critter, set up some problem solving analysis and see what is unfair. Is he protesting the meager wages he gets? Or is he just pissed that the cheese was made into bread? Okay, it's almost a myth that mice eat cheese. He needs to sack up, put down the sign and tear into that bread.
I'm looking at this page and I don't know why the dog is tugging on the magician's ribbon.
You won't find this classy surprise hat on any Pinterest page. Maybe mine because I link this to my Pinterest account and I like to post strange and ugly instead of cute and impossible. You have a hollowed out cake, a pissed off rabbit pig and the surprise is there's something in there if you just yank on the ribbon. It could be something just befuddling to the mind or it could be an origami bird. OOOOOOHHHHH!!!
Wow, my friends will be amused AND amazed! I'll be the talk of the town. The envy of all. Because I know how to make an instant tree out of the front page section of the newspaper. If I just so happen to use the local or the sport's section, this trick is null and void. Betty called for the front page and you better listen to her. Corporations are people too, my friend.

Since I'm not one to keep secrets. The devil in this dish is devilled ham. So much for bloody satanic rituals done by Betty.
Blooming Bush. Joke all in itself. The spoooooky cookies are sugar cookies with, gulp, caramels inside. AAAAH I can't do this anymore! Good thing I'm on the last page!
Again, thanks for viewing this!! If you have any problems accessing the pages, please let me know!

U.N.T.

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