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Sunday, June 17, 2012

People ate this?

Happy Father's Day to all fathers! I was planning on making a big post devoted to retro "man food" but I have a lot of cookbooks so that plan was nixed.

I look through these cookbooks and wonder how this stuff was eaten, much less prepared and thought to be a good idea. My grandkids will probably think the same of what we eat now. 

The book du jour is The American Woman's Cookbook. It has 855 pages of compilations of big food corporations of that era. 
The American Woman's Cookbook, 1956

My favorite part about these old cookbooks is when little things like this fall out. The picture is about the size of a postage stamp, and the tag is the size of a business card. It shows this belonged to someone and they left an imprint and memories.
It is imperative to strike up a warm acquaintance to the oven and is "special temperament". Is this an oven or a lover? Must they be mutually exclusive? I guess maybe I should have done that before I dropped a bottle of hot sauce on my stove and cracked the cooktop. Note to self: Strike up a warm acquaintance with my oven and its special temperament.
Because this oven is in the middle of a bizarre love triangle between the man and the woman, it's natural to expect time to await the occasion and THE MAN.
Brains vs brawn with this machine. Or as we like to call it, a mixer. You supply the brain, it mixes the batter. Say whaaat?
This would gladden the most sadistic serial killer instead of the most ardent gadgeteer. I am imagining these rusty, blood crusted, and on a mayo stand.
I'm lucky enough if I manage to get real plates, forks, spoons, and the food in a serving dish.
As per the Wheat Flour Institute (wink wink), you should make this when you have your gay days.
The Wheat Flour Institute (wink, wink) suggests this will get everybody up promptly.
Fresh from the udder of the Irradiated Evaporated Milk Institute (wink,wink)
It should say Marrow OR Liver Balls. By the implications of Marrow AND Liver, one would think both are incorporated in this recipe. Or one should not even think of this as a viable option for a meal.
The lordly lobster and the best dressed fish. Too much royalty for one mouth.
Boiled head and tongue. A fried bits of hog's head. I can't imagine separating a hog's head into halves, scraping and cleaning the head thoroughly. I guess you do what you have to do.
Remind me to put grouse on the shopping list.
Well shoot, I'm gonna eat gud tonight. Truss me up one of them thar varmints.
An opossum is a very fat animal with a peculiarly flavored meat. I need to hone my slit bottom of throat to hind legs to remove entrails skills. Remove head and tail IF desired. An opossum is a pretty ugly animal. Can't imagine that curly fat tail and weasly face looking at me.
A wondrous aspic to beat all aspics.
If only this one could be in color...

Because the Institute American Poultry Industries and Armour and Company say this is the way to cook it, then darn it you better cook it that way.
The ants go marching one by one..
Big Food had a lot of say in what was cooked back then too. 

Until next time..

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