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Monday, June 4, 2012

Betty Crocker and her continuous crusade against children.

Last week, we were introduced to the evil incarnation of Betty Crocker and her immense dislike of children. She had 12 students and only 9 remained. Nine cookies to be exact. The book was published in 1957. 

Fast forward to 1975. Another cookbook is out, another unsuspecting group of children. These could be descendents of the ones who got away for all we know. Yet people never learn, do they?

Betty's plans are different this time. 

Betty Cocker's Cookbook For Boys AND Girls, 1975
Here they are. The students Betty Crocker will show the ropes of successful cooking. Look at their bright, sweet faces. Four boys, three girls. I guess that's why boys comes first. Surely. Here's to them learning the ropes of what Betty offers them. Here's to them possibly getting out alive and sharing their new found knowledge with the rest of the word. I don't count because I was probably gnawing on zwieback toast.
This time Betty is going to give us the reader a chance to look over the necessary tools. It's 2012 so I'm pretty sure I can find an electronic egg beater and a pair of kitchen shears that look a little more ergonomically correct.
Now wait a second Betty Crocker. Nobody told us there was going to be a test included. And if we fail what happens?
I guess if we fail it's our own damn fault considering the answers are on this page. That Betty! Makes sure all succeeds before killing their egos! 
No comment here but I think I had that TV. I don't believe it was in color. Maybe Betty just put a piece of paper over the screen. That Betty! Quite the tricker.
Seriously kid who concocted this. Do you want to end up a a sugar cookie? A little effort goes pretty far. That boat's not going to though.
Not bad cake, but the least you could do was think about the kid with the sesame seed allergy. Way to go! Hope he has his epi pen handy.
The fine art of bologna cups. That does look healthy. Set the stage for future bypass surgeries and a life of statin medications.
What kid of the mid 1970s wants to learn to make this? Hasn't the meat in a ring ship sailed away in that groovy cereal marshmallow boat?
Looks to me like THAT was what the ring was for. Betty had her hit list already drawn out. I have a feeling the boat kid is one of them. The other three are anyone's guess. The ones who got away are now hiding in society, sleeping with one eye open.

 Well it looks like it's Betty Crocker 2, kids 0. Why does her food have to look so evil? Why am I talking about Betty Crocker like she was actually a person?

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