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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Nobody Gets Out Alive

I have just a few more pictures to post before I call it a day. 

Let's start with the days when there were just two people to cook for. No, I don't remember them either. Imagine the money you could have spent on parsley sprigs and radishes? How impressed your date must have been when he was presented with several bowls of meatballs? 


Better Homes and Gardens Cooking for Two, 1972


 It is with great pleasure that I share these. I'm pretty sure next time I cook for two, it's not going to involve rolled up cold cuts stuffed with broccoli and topped with a strategically dripping yellow sauce. 

Why trick your guest or dinner date into thinking you are going to start the meal off with an icebreaker like wine or champagne? If he or she doesn't leave after the Hot Sherried Consomme, you might have someone who is willing to wipe your butt when you are 90.
Forget the effort of cheese, tomato sauce and crust. Not when you can impress the recipient of your good culinary prowess with a Giant burger that BOASTS real pizza flavor! The recipe says it's mozzarella so it's mozzarella. It may be yellow like velveeta, but if your date  believes that is boasting real pizza flavor, he or she is sure to think it's mozzarella cheese on top of that.

Since you are already on the path to an unforgettable meal in a not so good way, you may as well pull out the punches and serve what looks to be a rotting limb with pus and swollen nerve endings. Call it a Bacon Big Boy because everything is better with bacon! This might be the exception and not the rule.

Despite the odds stacked against you, your dinner guest was somehow convinced to sleep over. What did you put in that Sherried Consomme? After whatever conspired last night, you want to pretend you have a knowledge of Southwest cooking so you call this Easy Brunch Eggs Ranchero. Your guest feigns illness and for some reason is never heard from again.

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