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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Jello, Jello, Joy, Joy




What ode to the foods of long lost past would be complete or even intriguing without some mention of everybody's favorite treat made from collagen extracted from the boiled bones, connective tissues, and intestines of animals? That's right. Jello. It was a staple during the days of meat rations and then it's purpose was aspics, molded salads, deserts, and a suspension device for vegetables, potted meat, hard cooked eggs. 

Luckily there were 99 cents recipe books. NOT cookbooks because the only cooking in jello involves boiling water. It is moded, shaped, cubed, and eventually eaten.

The New Joys Of Jell-O recipe book, 1973
This doting mother is teaching her son a life skill. Though what is the white gloop? She looks thrilled beyond belief. He just looks indifferent. Jello is a JOY!
Ingredients that will be used. I'm a little uncomfortable seeing a spoon of pickle relish and a bowl of canned vegetables. Something tells me we are not making a strawberry jello with a little dollop of cool whip.
This jellied peach melba seems normal. Granted it looks like a bird's nest or a receptacle for shortening balls.
It's Party Time!! Bring JELLO!! Okay, this couple deserves credit. The woman's jello dish matches her pantsuit. How she pulled off the unthinkable, we will never know. But it's the first time anyone has seen someone with a matching jello dish. 
Look at this spread! Nothing but Jello as far as the eye can see. No bread to be found. No plates or utensils either.
Moving on to salads. This Green Goddess salad with its thick chunkage is sure to please anybody. At least there's bread and drinks. 
Yes, I was nice enough to include the recipe. Someone is just salivating at the prospect of serving this.
Antipasto Salad. Because it's too much work to make a plate of olives, chunks of cheese, salami, and celery. Jello makes it just so much more impressive.
Don't grab the first bite because it's green and the garnish looks a little feminine. Be warned that this Under The Sea pear salad is more sinister than it looks.
After discovering Pat had made her special Chicken Mousse, Gary rounded up the children and treated them to McDonalds. 
Why have cool, smooth Gazpacho soup when you can have Jellied Gazpacho?
How sneaky to make this look white when beneath the perfect mold shape there is sour cream, radishes, cucumber, green peppers, celery, and other little niblets. My brain and mouth aren't processing this. They have shut down.
The couple in red giggled and talked politics, religion, pot. The girl sitting waited for the date that would never come. The vegetable and egg mold laughed to itself, knowing it was not going to be eaten.
Kids love their jello!! Right, Mr. Real Men Wear Pink Butterfly Collars, Ms. Manson Family Sisters, and Mr. Kid With the Stripey Shirt on Who NEEDS a Haircut and A Smile?
Correct. I have never thought of any of that. Nor will I ever.

Jello played an important part in history with it's versatility. But really, it's 2012. We don't even need Jello unless we just had our tonsils out or are stuck on a clear liquid diet. 

Until next time!!! 

2 comments:

  1. LMAP! One of your best yet!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love it! My mom has so many cookbooks like this!

    ReplyDelete